Random thoughts, rants and reflections

sometimes it takes the disappearance, then a re-appearance of someone to make you realise how much you miss that person. the 'person' in question happens to be God himself. And in this case, He didn't really 'disappear' per se, but rather, I had inch by inch, moved Him out of my heart. Looking back and examining my life over the past year, I hadn't at any point rejected God consciously eg "Ok God, I dun need ya today, so goodbye!" , but it was due to allowing the busyness of life to clog the room in my heart. And that accumulated over time, as was my numbness to God - it was thus no wonder the Holy Spirit didn't even have a toe-hold in my heart, let alone a foothold.

this week the Holy Spirit ministered in a special way. He showed up. And when He did, the feeling was overwhelming embracing an old friend who's been away for so long. It's been a long while since I last sensed that closeness, and all in that instance, it became clear that Holy Spirit is indeed real - like any human you feel and touch. Revelations 3:20 took on a new dimension because it was talking about me shutting God out of my life, and all these while He was just patiently waiting at the door of my heart. That IS the grace of God. I remember weeping uncontrollably - and again this is also something that hasn't happened to me for a long time. So as I type this, I recall a pastor from church saying this - "when you are touched by God, how could you not cry?" I now fully agree. And right now, i'm just glad to have this Friend back.