Random thoughts, rants and reflections

Had the almost the whole day free to myself after deciding to forgo (read: skip) my SC452 lecture. Used the time available to prepare for TURT auditions this Friday. Boy...... the songs to prepare are surely not simple, and by now i'd have listened to the 3 songs a hundred times over! Nevertheless, i'm looking forward to the auditions with much excitement....can't wait.

And finally for once in a long long while, I had lunch at home with mum.... I can't really recall when was the last time I did so. Feels good. =)

After all these, the following stuff:
- headed to Canteen A to meet my team for worship
- learnt that news of my 'leaving my church' has spread to Woodlands (my church has another center at Woodlands area)....... now that's shocking.....
- worship checkout at Nanyang House
- went to Lydia's mum's funeral.

The trip to the funeral brought back some memories of my Dad. Through these years I guess its been a constant struggle to accept that he's no longer around. Though I've been through and gotten over the worst struggles during the first 2 years after his passing, there's always a lingering thought of things like what it might have been if I had done more of a duty as a son to him.. or what it might be now had he not passed away. But I guess that, indeed, there is a time and season for everything as said in Ecclesiastes....... it was never in my ability to control my life nor my dad's. God has a higher purpose for everything that happens.... even if it's something I can't fathom.

This brings me to a thought that hit me today.... 'How big is MY God?' Being human, I'm prone to allowing circumstances dictate how I feel and think, and so often I allow problems to appear larger than God himself. How big is my God............. this is really some food for thought today...it's calling me to see things in a different light and from a different perspective. And perhaps, this is God's personal challenge to me to trust him completely.