Random thoughts, rants and reflections

The DAY is finally approaching....... in another 6 days, I'll be taking a 4 month retreat/break from ministry at LE....... and yes it IS a 4 month BREAK and not a permanent move... i'll explain in detail for the benefit of those who have been hearing versions other than the one from the "horse's mouth". So here goes........

- people have thought that i'll be leaving LE altogether, some even said i'll be leaving at the start of the year and expressed surprise that i'm still around......... nah it's not entirely true..... I am taking a 4 month break from LE ministry, with a view to moving on to other minstries in another church. At the moment, nothing is confirmed as to whether i'll eventually stay in LE or move on, and i'll be praying about this during my break. Simple as that.

Now to the reasons for my decision.........

1. I simply need a break
After serving as a CG leader and musician week in and out for the past 3-4 years, i feel that physically and mentally, this has taken a toll on me (try shuttling west-east-west every Sunday, and playing in almost every Spd service as the only bassist). Not that i'm trying to trumpet this (my service) as a form of 'achievement' or a great sacrifice cos there isn't and can never be a greater sacrifice than the one Jesus has given, but i see this break as an absolute necessity to reflect on my time in ministry and reconsider my direction in life.


2. I need a change of environment and surroundings
As i've shared with some others, I need to step out of my comfort zone in order to get a breakthrough in my spiritual walk....... all these years , i find that i've subconsciously grown to hide behind my position as cgl and musician... there are times when i feel that ministry has simply become routine...and sometimes a burden to the extent that i lost joy in playing for a period sometime last year. Though i've since rediscovered the joy in playing, i strongly feel there needs to be a change in surroundings, even if it means that i might have to give up playing indefintely (should i decide to move on for good).


3. A re-adjustment of priorities
This year being my final year in NTU, i'll have to grapple with not only my regular modules, but also my final year project. With my involvement in campus crusade ministry as comm member also, there're simply too many things for me to juggle. So i needed to drop one of my commitments. Therefore, i'll be focusing on campus ministry in school for this year, while attending another church that's nearer to my place.


4. Other factors
Of course, there are several other factors that helped me make this decision. Some are rather negative, and i choose not to publish them here....... those that need to know will already know what i'm talking about anyway.


Next move........

As i've told my leaders, i'll be visiting other churches during these 4 months, with the main destination being Covenant Evangelical Free Church. Reason for choosing Convenant EFC is that it has a strong focus on discipleship, which i've a heart for. I also feel peace each time in my past 2-3 visits. (oh yah may i also mention that CEFC is near my place...a big plus factor!!)

In addition, i'll be involved with The Ultimate Road Trip 2005, a music missions project with Forerunners (the music ministry of Campus Crusade Singapore) this coming may/june....as of now i'm in the midst of raising prayer and financial support for this mission trip, and i'm trusting God for $1,800 by 5th of May.

Apart from praying about whether to move on from LE, i'm also asking God for life directions after this year when i graduate. This is currently a very grey area for me and so i'll need prayer support in this matter.


Rounding up.........

It's certainly not easy to make this decision to even consider leaving........ i've been part of my current ministry for a total of 8 years now.... it is the place where i practically 'grew up' as a christian... the place where i made many good and close frens....... it isn't easy.........

I strongly believe that at one point or another, people have to move on in life. Like the chinese saying that says ' there isn't any banquet on earth doesn't end', all things, good or bad, will come to a conclusion.

So will i return, or will i go? Much depends on God's leading, and i'll pray hard about it.